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Rotten Bagels and Spaghetti Sauce

17 Mar

For those who don’t know Mike, he is not the one to get easily angered. However, one of the biggest fight Mike and I had involved rotten bagels and left over spaghetti sauce. Sad thing about this fight is that I don’t even remember why the fight was set off or who initiated it. All that I remember is the fact that we were having an argument and I was beyond frustrated that he couldn’t understand my side of the story. I couldn’t suppress my anger, so I grabbed the first thing I saw on the floor, something that would hurt him, but not kill him and it was a bag of rotten bagels ready to be thrown away. As I swung that bag of rotten bagels, Mike took on defensive mode as he grabbed the sponge he was washing the left over spaghetti plate with and squeezed it on the top of my head. Uhhhh, nasty!

There are many times like this in a relationship where people will not be able to hold on to their anger and instead explode on each other with no sense of decency. What I’ve learned from experience is that, the best way to deal with anger is to walk away from the situation until you have cooled off. Mike will never try to understand me when I am yelling in anger at the top of my lungs. Finally, when both of you can think properly, sit together and communicate. And no, by communication, I don’t mean the nagging and one-sided explanation. Listen to your significant other with a different perspective and this time you will be able to really understand where they are coming from.

Today, I let you in on the biggest fight Mike and I had through five years of our relationship. Why? Simply to inform you that falling in love isn’t always about the pretty and pleasant things and the most important lesson is to find the solution that works for the both of you to end every fights and arguments in good terms. For Mike and I, our solution was for me to listen to him with my ears wide open and for him to talk about his true feelings behind his annoyance.