an amateur relationship guru in my own ways

23 Feb

Due to the fact that I’ve been in the relationship the longest (5 years and 5 months to be exact) amongst our girlfriends, friends who are just entering new relationships often come to me for advice. Few days ago, when a friend asked me a question about why guys act differently in front of his “dudes” and when it is just the two of them, memory lane took me back to five, long years ago.

Mike has always been super uncomfortable with showing affection in public. One day, Mike and I were with a bunch of our friends just hanging out. As we were heading back to his car to go home, I reached for his hands. The moment my hands slightly touched his, he abruptly let go of my hand and walked ahead. I kind of stood there, confused and hurt at what he did. Although I am not a fan of PDA(public display of affection), I could not comprehend the reasons for his action or must I say, lack of action. I sat him down and questioned his reasoning for acting the way he does in front his peers especially in front of his buddies opposed to when it is just us two. To be honest, his answer didn’t seem legitimate enough to satisfy me at the time, but I can tell that he was being honest when he told me that he doesn’t think there is a need to boast our relationship in front of others.

According to, there are different ways for girlfriends to understand the reason why guys act differently when he is with his mates. For me, I decided on step 8. “Give space. He wants you to give him space to be with his friends but doesn’t want you to feel resented, he still loves you but expects you to understand that he just wants it to be him and his mates.” Yeah, it’s true that sometimes girls simply want to show the world how much their boyfriend loves them in front of everyone else. But, would you rather have it the other way around? A boyfriend who acts lovey-dovey in front of others, but turns the other way when its just you two? I don’t think so! So, ladies consider yourself blessed and appreciate the intimate love you have with your boyfriend instead of trying to impress others. Also, if your boyfriend was PDA all the time, you wouldn’t have the heart to appreciate the little things he does when it happens.



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